We all know that Nogginfogger Skeleton’s rock out to the air guitar, but many of us may not know the definition or origin of such a fine instrument. The following information is brought to you by Uncyclopedia.
Air guitars are similar in shape to normal guitars, with the notable difference that they are made entirely out of air. Air guitars typically have 6 strings and 24 frets. Although acoustic air guitars are available, electric air guitars are by far the most popular.
It is understood that the first performance involving an Air Guitar was at a live open-air concert held in a field just outside of Sherwood Forest, England in the early 1400s where the well known Lute player Allan O’The Dell performed a duet with his Lute and a famous Court Jester (Robin The Gnarled) who appeared sporting a radical new design of Lute he had crafted from air. Their live performance of Greensleeves remains a classic to this day.
Air Guitars have evolved beyond recognition and the latest models are self-tuning and contain on-board, complex amplifier emulators to enable them to sound like any available amplifier thereby reducing pre-performance setting up times.
The legendary Rebecca Nichols is arguably the greatest Air Guitar player to have lived and her untimely passing at the age of 32 of a heart attack brought on by over-exertion during an awesome performance of the Ritchie Blackmore guitar solo in Deep Purple’s Child in Time in the late 1970‘s shocked the Rock nation.
The current under 18 champ is Master Darius Athill of Winchester. He is said to have been dicovered at the tender age of 12 by an Air Guitar scout whilst wowing fellow pupils at his school with a sparkling air rendition of David Bowie’s “Rebel Rebel”. His current wherabouts are unknown, but he is supposed to have been captured by the evil owner of Fender, Adam Wammi. He has also won numerous awards for his skill at the electric guitar and for penis length (16″).
Read more about how to play the AG, purchasing tips, and general care information @ uncyclopedia.org